"I should just click my heels together and go home
But I'm not sure where that is anymore."
-Rosie Thomas

Jill: I just have a question.

Latin Prof: Go ahead.

Jill: So, let's say you wanted to say, "I shall have you killed."  Would that be "volare?"

LP: Volare?  Volare?  That's "to fly."  You want "necare."

Jill: Necare.

LP: Yes, and (begins to write on white board) what would be the ending be for this?

Jill: Future pluperfect, so -ero.

LP: Yes, so it would be "Te necarero. ~~ I shall have you killed."

Jill: And if you wanted to plead back, you would use....

LP: "Non te quaeso. ~ Please, I beg you, no."

Jill: You wouldn't use "vos?" like they do in French with formal.  Say you were speaking to a Roman emperor.

LP: Stupid French and their silly forms. Is this French? 

Jill: No. I just thought--

LP: Use "te."

Classmate: (turns around) Why do you want to know this anyway?

LP: Yeah, I wouldn't just be going around saying this to anyone. 

Jill: No, I was just--

LP: You could put this in a letter and someone would think this is a threat.

Jill: I was thinking--

LP: Even if they couldn't read Latin, it looks threatening.

Jill: No, I was just wondering if I went back in time and Julius Caesar was on the brink of killing me, what I would say.

LP: Well, I know what I would say.  Julius Caesar was known for doing things quickly, so I would say, "Velociter stultum. ~~ Quickly, stupid." He would pick up on this well thought out pun and spare my life.

...and thus, we became Latin nerds.

I have to miss class today to write a magazine article on overcommitment.

dang.